Ok, let's start over.

My weight's yo-yo-ing terribly and I see the days I used to cram in for gym in my previous organizer and I guess I am underestimating my body once again.

Right now, I occupy my time with a lot of things and I most often than not find excuses sounding very much like, "I'll do it tomorrow" or 'I can afford a curry puff after all these hell I've been through.' And then once again, the closest and dearest remind me oh how fat I look or how disgusting and I retaliate by stuffing that curry or brownie in my face even though I cannot stomach it anymore. And once or twice, I try to puke it out before slapping my face silly not because it could harm my health but because I am afraid of my teeth rotting and then I slap it again because I should worry about my health.

Until my brother snapped a picture of my from the back and I went 'Yikes'.

And it is not just the physical element of it. I am tired, my back hurts, I get really agitated so I don't want to just talk. Instead, I am going to try to stick to my 4 times a week, 45 minutes run for two weeks. If I succeed and I see the weight loss, I am going to continue with the same zest I have for saving. (I really can). But the thing I am going to change right now is that I am going to alternate running with swimming and dancing. After the first two weeks.

If unsuccessful, Imma bite the bullet and hire a personal trainer. It doesn't matter which gym.

Current weight: 57 kg. (Yikes)

Ideal weight for me: 51 kg. Min 50kg. Not any more than that. I wouldn't like it.